Линки на сайты, посвященные "Кошкам" 1. CATS homepage 2. Powder's Jellicle Cats Page (RPG) 3. The Scratching Post! 4. Blue Bell's Jellicle Library

Есть такой великий, по моему мнению, композитор - Andrew Lloyd Webber. В нашей стране он почему-то прославился не самым выдающимся своим произведением "Jesus Christ - Superstar", которое я, все равно, люблю. Недавно он еще нашумел своим непримечательным до этого мюзиклом "Эвита", а больше особо никто его и не знал. Мое любимейшее произведение этого человека - мюзикл "Cats" (Кошки). Примечательно то, что идея и почти весь текст взят у английского поэта конца 19 - начала 20 века Т. Элиота ("Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats"). Просто я оченно долго искала полный текст именно мюзикла, а не поэму (все же она претерпела некоторые изменения, прежде чем стать мюзиклом через 60 лет после рождения). Поэтому привожу его здесь - а вдруг кому-то понадобится. Фотографии кошек взяты с Городского Кота
 
 

CATS

 

Music written by Andrew Lloyd Webber .

Cats is based on T.S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats."

Additional Material written by Trevor Nunn and Richard Stilgoe .

These lyrics are from the Original Broadway Soundtrack.

Are you blind when you're born? Can you see in the dark?
Dare you look look at a king? Would you sit on his throne?
Can you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the walk when you're walking alone?

Because jellicles are and jellicles do
Jellicles do and jellicles would
Jellicles would and jellicles can
Jellicles can and jellicles do

When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet?
Are you tense when you sense there's a storm in the air?
Can you find your way blind when you're lost in the street?
Do you know how to go to the heaviside layer?

Because jellicles can and jellicles do
Jellicles do and jellicles can
Jellicles can and jellicles do
Jellicles do and jellicles can
Jellicles can and jellicles do

Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant?
Familiar with candle, with book, and with bell?
Were you Whittington's friend? The Pied Piper's assistant?
Have you been an alumnus of heaven and hell?

Are you mean like a minx? Are you lean like a lynx?
Are you keen to be seen when you're smelling a rat?
Were you there when the pharoahs commissioned the Sphinx?
If you were, and you are, you're a jellicle cat

Jellicle songs for jelllicle cats
Jellicle songs for jelllicle cats
Jellicle songs for jelllicle cats
Jellicle songs for jelllicle cats
Jellicle songs for jelllicle cats

We can dive through the air like a flying trapeze
We can turn double somersaults, bounce on a tire
We can run up a wall, we can swing through the trees
We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire

Jellicles can and jellicles do
Jellicles can and jellicles do
Jellicles can and jellicles do
Jellicles can and jellicles do
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats

Can you sing at the same time in more than one key?
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss?
And can you (as cats do) begin with a 'C'?
That always triumphantly brings down the house?

Jellicle cats are queen of the nights
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from the 'Messiah'
Hallelujah, angelical Choir

The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral rang 'Vivat'
Life to the everlasting cat!
Feline, fearless, faithful and true
To others who do-what

Jellicles do and jellicles can
Jellicles can and jellicles do
Jellicle cats sing jellicle chants
Jellicles old and jellicles new
Jellicle song and jellicle dance
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats

Practical cats, dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats
Oratorical cats, Delphicoracle cats
Skeptical cats, Dispeptical cats
Romantical cats, Pedantical cats
Critical cats, parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
Statistical cats and mystical cats
Political cats, hypocritical cats
Clerical cats, hysterical cats
Cynical cats, rabbinical cats

Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for jellicle cats

There's a man over there with a look of surprise
As much as to say well now how about that?
Do I actually see with my own very eyes
A man who's not heard of a jellicle cat?
What's a jellicle cat? What's a jellicle cat?

Наверх

2. The Naming of Cats

The naming of cats is a difficult matter
It isn't just one of your holiday games
You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat must have three different names

First of all, there's the name that the family use daily
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey
All of them are sensible, everyday names

But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular
A name that's peculiar and more dignified
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular?
Or spread out his whiskers or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum
Names that never belong to more than one cat

But above and beyond there's still one name left over
And that is the name that you will never guess
The name that no human research can discover
But the cat himself knows and will never confess

When you notice a cat in profound meditation
The reason, I tell you, is always the same
His mind is engaged in rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name
His ineffable, effable, effanineffable

Наверх

Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the jellicle ball

Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicles come to the jellicle ball

Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the jellicle ball

Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the jellicle ball

Jellicle cats meet once a year
At the jellicle ball where we all rejoice
And the jellicle leader will soon appear
And make what is known as the jellicle choice
That's when Old Deuteronomy just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat who can now be reborn
And come back to different jellicle life
Because waiting up there is the heaviside layer
With wonders one jellicle only will see
Jellicles ask because jellicles dare
Who will it be?

Наверх

4. The Old Gumbie Cat I have a gumbie cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots Her coat is of the tabby kind with tiger stripes and leopard spots All day she sits beneath the stairs or on the steps or on the mat She sits and sits and sits and that's what makes a gumbie cat That's what makes a gumbie cat But... When the day's hustle and bustle is done Then the gumbie cat's work is but hardly begun And when all the family's in bed and asleep She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice Their behavior's not good and their manners not nice So when she has got them lined up on the matting She teaches them music, crocheting and tatting I have a gumbie cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots The curtain cord she likes to wind and tie it into sailor knots She sits upon the windowsill or anything that's smooth and flat She sits and sits and sits and that's what makes a gumbie cat That's what makes a gumbie cat But... When the day's hustle and bustle is done Then the gumbie cat's work is but hardly begun She thinks that the cockroaches need employment To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment So she's formed from that lot of disorderly louts A troop of well disciplined helpful boy scouts With a purpose in life and a good deed to do And she's even created a beetles tattoo! For she's a jolly good fellow! Thank you my dears...

Наверх

5. The Rum Tum Tigger The Rum Tum Tigger is a curious cat If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse If you put me in a house, I would much prefer a flat If you put me in a flat, I would rather have a house If you set me on a mouse, then I only want a rat If you set me on a rat, then I'd rather chase a mouse The Rum Tum Tigger is a curious cat And there isn't any need for me to shout it For he will do as he do do And there's nothing doing about it The Rum Tum Tigger is a terrible bore When you let me in, then I want to go out I'm always on the wrong side of every door And as soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get about I like to lie in the bureau drawer And I make such a fuss if I can't get out The Rum Tum Tigger is a curious cat And there isn't any need for you to doubt it For he will do as he do do And there's no doing anything about it The Rum Tum Tigger is a curious beast My disobliging ways are a matter of habit If you offer me fish, then I always want a feast When there isn't any fish, then I won't eat rabbit If you offer me cream, then I sniff and sneer For I only like what I find for myself So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears If you put it away on the larder shelf The Rum Tum Tigger is artful and knowing The Rum Tum Tigger Doesn't care for a cuddle But I'll leap upon your lap in the middle of your sewing For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle The Rum Tum Tigger is a curious cat The Rum Tum Tigger doesn't care for a cuddle The Rum Tum Tigger is a curious cat And there isn't any need for me to spout it For he will do as he do do And there's nothing doing about it!

6. Grizabella, The Glamour Cat Remark the cat who hesitates toward you In the light of the door which opens on her like a grin You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin She haunted many a low resort Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court She flitted about the No Man's Land From "The Rising Sun" to "The Friend at Hand" And the postman sighed as he scratched his head "You'd really had thought she ought to be dead" And who would ever suppose that That was Grizabella, the glamour cat Grizabella, the glamour cat, Grizabella, the glamour cat And who would ever suppose that That was Grizabella, the glamour cat

7. Bustopher Jones Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones In fact, he's remarkably fat He doesn't haunt pubs, he has eight or nine clubs For he's the St. James Street cat! He's the cat we all greet as we walk down the street In his coat of fastidious black No common-place mousers have such well cut trousers Or such an impeccable back In the whole of St. James's the smartest of names is The name of this Brummell of cats And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to By Bustopher Jones in white spats My visits are occasional to the senior educational And it is against the rules For any one cat to belong both to that And the joint superior schools When I'm seen in a hurry there's probably curry At the Siamese or at the glutton When I look full of gloom then I've lunched at the tomb On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton In the whole of St. James's the smartest of names is The name of this Brummell of cats And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to By Bustopher Jones in white spats So much in this way passes Bustopher's day At one club or another he's found It can be no surprise that under our eyes He has grown unmistakably round He's a twenty-five pounder or I am a bounder And he's putting on weight every day But I'm so well preserved because I've observed All my life a routine and I'd say I am still in my prime, I shall last out my time That's the word from this stoutest of cats It must and it shall be spring in Pall Mall While Bustopher Jones wears white Bustopher Jones wears white Bustopher Jones wears white spats

8. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer The greatest magicians have something to learn From Mr. Mistoffolees conjuring turn Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians Tight-rope walkers and acrobats They had an extensive reputation Made their home in Victoria Grove That was merely their center of operation For they were incurable given to rove If the area window was found ajar And the basement looked like a field of war If a tile or two came loose on the roof Which presently ceased to be waterproof If the drawers were pulled out from bedroom chests And you couldn't find one of your winter vests Or after supper one of the girls Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!" And most of the time they left it at that Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had an unusual gift of gab They were highly efficient cat burgulars As well and remarkably smart at a smash and grab They made their home in Victoria Grove They had no regular occupation They were plausible fellows who liked to engage A friendly policeman in conversation When the family assembled for Sunday dinner Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner on Argentine joint, potatoes and greens Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow "I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow The joint has gone from the oven like that!" Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!" And most of the time they left it at that Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way Of working together And some of the time you would say it was luck And some of the time you would say it was weather They'd go through the house like a hurricane And no sober person could take his oath Was it Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer? Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both? When you heard a dining room smash Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash Or down from the library came a loud ping From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat? It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer And there's nothing at all to be done about that!"

I believe it is Old Deuteronomy

Well of all things can it be really
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy

Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time
He's a cat who has lived many lives in succession
He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme
A long while before Queen Victoria's accession
Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives
And more I am tempted to say ninety-nine
And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives
And the village is proud of him in his decline
At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy
When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall
The oldest inhabitant croaks

Well of all things can it be really
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy

Well of all things can it be really
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy

Well of all things can it be really
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy

Well of all things can it be really
No. Yes. Ho. Hi. Oh my eye!

My legs may be tottery, I must go slow
And be careful of Old Deuteronomy

Наверх

Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the jellicle ball

Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats are rather small
Jellicle cats are merry and bright
And pleasant to hear when we caterwaul

Jellicle cats have cheerful faces
Jellicle cats have bright black eyes
We like to practice our airs and graces
And wait for the jellicle moon to rise

Jellicle cats develop slowly
Jellicle cats are not too big
Jellicle cats are roly poly
We know how to dance a gavotte and a jig
Until the jellicle moon appears
We make our toilette and take our repose
Jellicles wash behind their ears
Jellicles dry between their toes

Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats are of moderate size
Jellicles jump like a jumping jack
Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes

We're quiet enough in the morning hours
We're quiet enough in the afternoon
Reserving our terpsichorean powers
To dance by the light of the jellicle moon

Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats (as we said) are small
If it happens to be a stormy night
We will practice a caper or two in the hall

If it happens the sun is shining bright
You would say we had nothing to do at all
We are resting and saving ourselves to be right
For the jellicle moon and the jellicle ball

Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the jellicle ball

Наверх

You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand
And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin

Silence-not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Memory-all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Наверх

The moments of happiness

We had the experience but missed the meaning
And approach to the meaning restores the experience
In a different form beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness
The past experience revived in the meaning
Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations
Not forgetting something that is probably quite ineffable

Moonlight
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin

Наверх

13. Gus, the Theatre Cat

Gus is the cat at the theatre door
His name, as I ought to have told you before
Is really Asparagus, and that's a fuss to pronounce
That we usually call him just Gus
His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake
Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats
But no longer a terror to mice or to rats

For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime
Though his name was quite famous, he says, in his time
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)
He loves to regale them, if someone else pays
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days
For he once was a star of the highest degree
He has acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree
And he likes to relate his success on the halls
Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls
But his greatest creation as he loves to tell
Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell

I have played in my time every possible part
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart
I'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag
I knew how to act with my back and my tail
With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail
I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts
Whether I took the lead, or in character parts
I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell
When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell
In the pantomime season, I never fell flat
And I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat
But my grandest creation, as history will tell
was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell

Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin
He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat
When some actor suggested the need for a cat

And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained
As we did in the days when Victoria reigned
They never get drilled in a regular troupe
And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop

And he says as he scratches himself with his claws
Well the theatre is certainly not what is was
These modern productions are all very well
But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell
That moment of mystery when I made history
As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell

I once crossed the stage on the telegraph wire
To rescue a child when a house was on fire
And I think that I still can much better than most
Produce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghost
And I once played Growltiger
Could do it again, could do it again
Could do it again

Наверх

14. Growltiger's Last Stand

Growltiger was a bravo cat who travelled on a barge
In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large
From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims
Rejoicing in his title of the "Terror of the Thames"

His manners and appearance did not calculate to please
His coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the knees
One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why
And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye

The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame
At Hammersmith and Putney, people shuddered at his name
They would fortify the hen house, lock up the silly goose
When the rumor ran along the shore: Growltiger's on the loose!

Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage
Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger's rage
Woe the bristly bandicoot that lurks on foreign ships
And woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips

But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed
To cats of foreign name and race, no quarter was allowed
The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear
Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear

Now on a peaceful summer night all nature seemed at play
The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molsey lay
All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide
And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side

In the forepeak of the vessel, Growltiger stood alone
Concentrating my attention on the lady Griddlebone
And my raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks
As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone
And the lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritone
Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise
But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes

And closer still and closer the sampans circled 'round
And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound
The foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives
And the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives

In una tepida notte d'estate, allorche la natura
Era nel pieno fulgore, e la resca rugiada
Splendeva al chiar di luna sopra la verzura
Si poteva vedere il galeone ancorato
Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea del naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte che c'e dunque di male
Se in tnata poesia anche il pirata divento sentimentale?

Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea do naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte

Then Genghis gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian hordes
Abandoning their sampans, the chinks they swarmed aboard
Abandoning their sampans, their pullaways, their junks
They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks

Then Griddlebone she gave a screech for she was badly skeered
I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared
She probably escaped with ease I'm sure she was not drowned
But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround

The ruthless foe presssed forward in stubborn rank on rank
Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank
He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop
At the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip, kerflop

Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land
At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the Strand
Rats were roasted whole in Brentford and Victoria Dock
And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok!

These modern productions are all very well
But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell
That moment of mystery when I made history

Наверх

15. Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat

Skimbleshanks the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
There's a whisper down the line at eleven thirty-nine
When the night mail's ready to depart
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble
We must find him or the train can't start!"
All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters
Would be searching high and low
Saying "Skimble, where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
Then the night mail just can't go"
At eleven forty-two with the signal overdue
And the passengers all frantic to a man
That's when I would appear and I'd saunter to the rear
I'd been busy in the luggage van!
Then he gave one flash of his glass-green eyes
And the signal went "All clear!"
They'd be off at last for the northern part of the northern hemisphere!

Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge
Of the sleeping car express
From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards
I would supervise them all more or less
Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces
Of the travellers in the first and the third
He established control by a regular patrol
And he'd know at once if anything occurred
He would watch you without winking and he saw what you were thinking
And it's certain that he didn't approve
Of hilarity and riot so that folk were very quiet
When Skimble was about and on the move
You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks
He's a cat that couldn't be ignored
So nothing went wrong on the northern mail
When Skimbleshanks was aboard

It was very pleasant when they'd found their little den
With their name written up on the door
And the berth was very neat with a newly folded sheet on
And not a speck of dust on the floor
There was every sort of light you could make it dark or bright
And a button you could turn to make a breeze
And a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in
And a crank to shut the window should you sneeze
Then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly
"Do you like your morning tea weak or strong?"
But I just behind him and was ready to remind him
For Skimble won't let anything go wrong
When they crept into their cozy berth and pulled the counterpane
They ought to reflect that it was very nice
To know that they wouldn't be bothered by mice
They can leave all that to the railway cat
The cat of the railway train

Skimbleshanks, the railway cat, the cat of the railway train
In the watches of the night I was always fresh and bright
Every now and then I'd have a cup of tea
With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was busy keeping on the watch
Only stopping here and there to catch a flea
They were fast asleep at Crewe
And so they never knew that I was walking up and down the station
They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carlisle
Where I met the stationmaster with elation

They might see me at Dumfries if I summoned the police
If there was anything they ought to know about
When they got to Gallowgate there they did not have to wait
For Skimbleshanks will help them to get out
And he gives you a wave of his long brown tail
Which says, "I'll see you again"
You'll meet without fail on the midnight mail
The cat of the railway train

You'll meet without fail on the midnight mail
The cat of the railway train

Наверх

16. Macavity

Macavity!

Macavity's a mystery cat, he's called the hidden paw
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air
But I tell you once and once again Macavity's not there!

Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunked in
His brow is deeply lined in thought, his head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!

He's outwardly respectable, I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's
And when the larder's looted or the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing or another peke's been stifled
Or the greenhouse glass is broken and the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi and one or two to spare
What ever time the deed took place Macavity wasn't there!

And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone
Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations: the Napolean of crime!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity
Macavity, Macavity, Macavity

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17. Mr. Mistoffolees

You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffolees!
The original conjuring cat
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mister Mistoffolees' conjuring turn

And you'll all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it's gone!
But you find it next week lying on the lawn

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Well! My manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But voice has been heard on the roof
When I was curled up by the fire
And I've sometimes been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call me in from the garden for hours
While I was asleep in the hall

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the magical Mr. Mistoffolees!

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18. Memory

Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses wither away
Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day

Now Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat who can now be reborn
And come back to a different jellicle life

Memory, turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin

Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Burnt out ends of smokey days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Daylight,  I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Sunlight, through the trees in the summer
Endless masquerading
Like a flower as the dawn is breaking
The memory is fading

Touch me, it's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun

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19. The Journey to the Heaviside Layer

Up up up past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up to the heaviside layer

Up up up past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up to the heaviside layer

Up up up past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up to the heaviside layer

Up up up past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up to the heaviside layer

Up up up past the jellicle moon
Up up up up to the heaviside layer

Up up up past the jellicle moon
Up up up up to the heaviside layer

The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral rang 'Vivat'
Life to the everlasting cat

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20. The Ad-dressing of Cats

You've heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and habitat
But how would you ad-dress a cat

So first, your memory I'll jog
And say: A cat is not a dog
So first, your memory I'll jog
And say: A cat is not a dog

With cats, some say, one rule is true
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to
Myself I do not hold with that
I say, you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity
You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form "O Cat!"

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Straussburg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
He's sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name

A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there's how you ad-dress a cat

A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there's how you ad-dress a cat

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